The Same Conversation

Part of dealing with Lewy Body is understanding the dementia part of it.  Dad is confused most of the time.  While he recognizes people, he cannot tell you who they are.  He recognizes me, but does not really understand that I am his son. 

Every day we have the same conversation.  Without going into all the details, it is the same conversation.  The same questions, the same strange looks, the same raised eyebrows, the exact same conversation.  And it always ends in the same way.  "thanks for clearing that up for me.  that helps." 

As I am sitting on my deck enjoying day two of vacation, I am reminded that I seem to have the same conversations with God each day.  Same questions, same - exact same conversation.  usually it ends the same way:  "thanks for listening and for being such a big God." 

Nothing is cleared up for me.  I have so many questions as to why a man who served so faithfully for so many years has to deal with this.  Why?  God seems ok with my questions and I am glad for that.  He is very patient and seems ok with the same conversation.

"Hey God.."

"Yes"

"Um, nothing is changing.  You need to change a few things.  Do  I need to spell them out?"

"No, I understand."

"I know you understand, but are you going to fix this?"

"I am here whenever you need me.  I have promised that.  I will also meet you at your point of need - again - another promise." 

"But when are you going to fix this?  It should not be this way!" 

"I know.  But I am going to do things you can only imagine about.  You just need to hang in there and be faithful."

"OK.  But I would really like you to fix this.  I will talk to you again soon." 

and so goes the conversations.  Nothing gets fixed, but somehow we all seem to be able to manage.  Actually, not just manage, but grow.  His Grace is really sufficient.  He is who He said He is and HE will do what He has promised He will do.  His grace is enough.